The Most Awesome Thing You'll Ever See: March 2009

The “my wife, my gf, I’d do her or leave her alone” game.

So this game was first played by me in November of 2007 with my friend Kanishka. We’d sit at mc clock (but anywhere with a high female count is good) and check out the girls that walk past. When you see a girl who’s attractive you must then shotgun her before your mate(s) do/does.I am objectifying women and apologize...again.

There would usually be 4 options available when shot gunning:

1) “I’d do her”, this option is viable when you see a hot girl that u would like to have relations with. This is usually the pick when the girl is hot but clearly too skanky to introduce to your parents. Typically since A. she’s probably taken many dicks and B. she just looks slutty MAX.

Note: if she looks like she’s a coke addict who would probably steal your money after intercourse; be prepared to hide your cash in your sock.

2) “My gf”, if you do see a mad girl who you would like to peruse a relationship with, (which may lead to marriage because she’s hot and looks clean) then you may shotgun her as your girl friend. Your friend is now barred from shot gunning unless you provide the option for a devil’s three-way (2 dudes 1 chick); therefore a double shotgun may take place if the friend is willing.

3) “My wife”, if you spot a chick who’s a 10/10 in your books, and I’m talking about Hyori Lee/ Park Eun Kyung/Lee Ji Woo 10, you may then shotgun her. This is usually done because the girl is just too mad and u can’t let her wander around in the wild because she would probably get nailed by a douche bag.

4) “Leave her alone”, is if the female is aesthetically unpleasing. In this situation you may choose to be a massive dog and tag her as “your (your friends) girlfriend”. However If your friend is witty enough to construct a comeback within 10 seconds, you must then take her as your own female companion. This rule is implemented because you have decided to be a massive wanker and attempted to dog your friend. However your friend has then outplayed you, therefore a penalty will be executed.

Note: comeback has to actually be good, if the comeback is lame and an argument erupts; a paper, scissors, rock competition will be held to decide the winner, best two out of three. Usually if the comeback is good the person who initiated in the dogging will know, accept and graciously step down. There will be no need for a paper, scissors, rock bout.

However if the comeback is so lame that you shouldn't have opened your mouth in the first place; you will be double dogged. Therefore every non aesthetically pleasing female who walks past will be crowned as your girlfriend and will last for the entirety of the day. So think carefully before you decide to gamble on the comeback, or even initiate in dogging.

This game was played extensively during my first year of uni, unfortunately not second year as Kanishka has now left to partake in commando training. I miss you buddy!

Examples:

I'd do her (this girl does porno and therefore does not fit the criteria for a gf/wife candidate)