This isn't a lie

I'm going crazy

Monday, May 18, 2009

The Perfect Girl:

Everyone here thinks about the future, and generally this future will consist of you and your significant other. A lot of us obsess about who we’re going to end up with in 10~20 years time; and by obsessing we end up creating an image of the “ideal” girl (or man for the gays and girls out there). I won’t be economical with the truth (lie) here, I am an active daydreamer who does fantasize about the perfect female companion (approximately 175 cm tall, asian, pointy nose with a broad bridge, big eyes, double eyelids, pale, nice smile, slim, nice hair, and nice fashion sense; if you fit this criteria please contact me IMEDIATELY), and by doing this I’ve built up an impossible standard that no girl can ever meet. I’m very sure that a lot of people have done this as well.

I will now go through a number of factors that play key roles in the choosing a female companion.

The chase:

I think that the chase is one of the major contributors to the “fondness” factor. If you think about it; people aren’t satisfied if they get what they want when they want it. I’m pretty sure that everyone can relate to this following example. When you were a child and you wanted a toy, wasn’t it much more gratifying on reception if you had to wait, than the ones that you had received immediately? This is because you build up the tension in your head and the thrill of recieving said gift excites you; it’ll the most awesome thing ever and you’ll cherish it (FYI I still have my white ranger and tiger zord; some cunter stole my green ranger and dragon zord though; you fucking motherfucker).

I know I am objectifying women again (comparing them to power ranger figurines) but you're going to appreciate that girl alot more because of the chase. The more you want you want her, the more satisfying it will be when she says yes if you ask her out. A WARNING THOUGH: There is a very fucking fine line between being keen and being a stalker, don’t fall into the latter category.


When it comes to looks I honestly I don’t think that such a thing as the “universal” perfect girl exists. This is because every person has his/her own perception of beauty. For instance; I fucking love tall girls but I know a lot of other people don’t; although I don’t know why (and to be honest I think you’re weird) but that’s the thing. Each person has their own inimitable preferences. Some people like tanned girls, some like pale girls; some like big eyes, some like small eyes, and some like no eyes (that’s a bizarre fetish but I won’t judge you). The point is you’ll have different tastes depending on how and where you’re brought up, meaning that a universal “perfect girl” doesn’t exist. Everyone has flaws and that’s natural; no one can be perfect. Who gives a shit if your friend doesn't think that she's mad, if you do then that's all that matters. So don’t hate on other peoples girlfriends because they’re not “your type”, they might be their type and that's what makes them happy.

Looks is also most likely the main reason that you’ll even talk to the girl in the first place, if she isn’t hot then you won’t even turn your head; no lie. But I'll also have to note that looks isn't everything in a relationship; if she's hot then that's good, but that's only the "icing” on the cake.


It counts; as much as I do want a girl who looks like kim ha yul. She’s not worth SHIT if she’s a fucking whore (In my opinion good girls are the best, I love them). I grade this very highly because at the end of the day you’ll be living with this person, and if you don’t like her when you’re dating her then imagine in 20 years time when you two share a house and kids together. You’ll want to kill yourself because she’s a massive cunter, I know I will. I've said previously that looks is the icing, well then this is the “body” of the cake.

In my opinion; to find a girlfriend you’ll have to make exceptions, I know for a fact that I’ll probably never find a girl that meets the criteria that I had stated previously (especially one who’ll be keen on me or have a good personality and be fucking single). But I will find some very nice girls who aren’t 175 or don’t have gigantic eyes, or whatever else I mentioned; as long as she’s “all that in a packet of chips” to me then that’s all that matters. If you do find a girl that you're keen on act soon because you don’t want to have some cock-face pick her up at a club and knock her up, that’s game over dude; you’ll want to stab him (and yourself soon after because you didn’t act in time), no lie. Don’t be a stubborn cockhead, you’ll end up alone for the rest of your life; but don’t settle for just anything either because you won’t be happy. Be selective and choose a good cake (not a safeway one).


Special thanks for Cindy for nagging me all the time lol.

I don't know if i was clear enough because I was abit tired when I was writing; but what i was trying to say was that you should be picky but you should also have realistic expectations.


SunsetFlare~[Lyn] said...

idno, safeway has some pretty good chocolate cake... although i guess they have a lot of cake so they're not very particular special. how about specialty cakes, like from michel's? or laurant? mmmh cake.... i forget what the analogy is now.

Michael said...


Michael said...

"Don’t be a stubborn cockhead, you’ll end up alone for the rest of your life; but don’t settle for just anything either because you won’t be happy."

tbh that line really hit me LOL

Vincent Ma said...

omg :( i want!

Gabriel C said...

I also concur.

Peter said...

HAHa safeway cake is pretty poor quality.. I haven't even figure out my criteria yet. ohnoes